...may I have just a minute of your time?

The sunlight falling in through the back window of the gym glints off her glasses like a beacon.  It is the biggest lie I have ever told her and it constantly is glaring me in the face.  “No glare lenses 39 dollars extra, hmmm“ >count money in hand<, “yeah, we don’t need those, it doesn’t matter, no one will ever notice.”
Of course I don’t need the extra landmark to spot her in the group of gymnasts gathering 10 minutes to workout.  Of the girls gathered Beach is three sizes smaller- it looks ridiculous, at least to her mother it does.  Eventually she won’t look so out of place, eventually a few, 3 to be exact nearly as small as Beach will join her- but funny gym factoid only her mother would bother to note: she is the smallest, but not the youngest, optional gymnast at our gym.


...And at our gym we have reach the point where we will need to start fundraising for her.  We could have already started but I am worried about failing and losing the dream that others see the value in what she is accomplishing and want to be a part it too.  That others will be able to open their hearts and be willing to help her on her unique journey.

I am afraid to test my network based on past shows of support for Beach. It might surprise you to know that 98% of her meets I am the only one (outside of other gymmates & their families) there to see her.  Don’t get me wrong we have amazing friends and family who are rightfully busy with their own kids, own struggles, and lives.  We are all busy.  I wonder if part of it is simply it is believed she doesn't require support because she is so capable and self driven- and I am here to say it isn’t true, she would love to know you care.  And there are so many ways to show it!!! In fact, I can't even begin to thank some of the adults in her life for all the love, support, and generosities they have shown her, most of all her coaches.
I have really tried to be supportive of the kids in village because I believe they are what matters most.  I am hoping the universe and the village is as kind to mine.

If you have ideas or past experiences with fundraising or would like to help us in anyway please share, we would love to hear from you!

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for your time~

high jumping and a random uncooperative turkey

 JUMP!

 JUMP!

 Oh shit TURKEY!!!! 

 Move along little turkey this is a jumping course....

 If you can't beat them, join them?

 Screw it...

  JUMP!

  JUMP!

  JUMP!

 And jump some more!!!!

By chance can you tell she doesn't have gym today because 

the coaches are at the State Clinic?!

Turkey~

faith in face of mini disaster

"I just don't think it is possible." those words rather than serving as an ending often mark a new beginning for me.  It is as if once out of my mouth they plow over doubt and challenge the universe around me to move out of my way.

The small series of events are trivial.  The community paper I write for offered the a chance to take a college journalism course at no cost to me (I might have mentioned it on a prior post). I am also working shifts in the Pro Shop at gym to help with the fees (might have mentioned that offer as well).  I sent an e-mail to ensure I was not scheduled for the night of the class and a second e-mail to make ensure missing the first night of class (already scheduled to work Pro Shop) would not be a deal breaker for the Professor of the course. When the scheduling e-mail came back from the gym with a calendar attached it was impossible not to noticed I was schedule for every single day I asked not to be for the whole month. I doubled checked the e-mail I sent to make sure I had not done something backward. I had not.  It was a simple error but I had to wonder why it had happened. And more to the point it made me question, can I really do all this?  We are struggling as it is.

Realizing it is harder to get then to give those much needed hours, if I were to give them up I would probably not get new ones in return. All things happen for a reason, that is one thing I truly believe. A series of e-mails between the Papers Publisher & Executive Director and myself were swapped as she tried to convince me to not give up on taking the class, ending with my reply ".... I just don't think it is possible."

Into the Pro Shop walks another gym mother... only there because she somehow had the mistaken idea she was scheduled to work but wasn't and yet... "Misty, is there anyway you and I can swap our scheduled nights next month? I can't work the night I was given."  Oh but there is every way we can!!!  

All things happen for a reason.  Now how to get a Word Processing Program installed on my computer, it looks like I have papers to write.

a wild changing place

My Garden.

The cucumbers were on pause for a few days but out there today there were lots of these lurking about can't say the same for the slicing cucumbers.  

I came across a handful of nearly ripe tomatoes ready to go in before the chickens get them, some carrots, zucchini, and onions:) AND one of these.

 Oh thank goodness there are only one of these!

taking notice

 The message comes from across the country via e-mail: 

Are you noticing in your photographs her left eye is beginning to droop when she isn’t wearing her glasses?

 It appears she has less control than she previously had.

 ...as if it takes more effort for her to maintain forward focus. 

>sigh<

The rely goes back: Yes, I have noticed, appointment scheduled. Thank you for your concern

Message in the In-Box: I am also noticing in your photographs she is just as beautiful as her mother.

Message back: Yes Dear :) Much better conversation for us to have.

after the storm

fingers and toes

 This post could be called revenge of the garden I had to haul in 3 full loads to the kitchen...

 but it's not called that because this morning I found a hard painful mass the size of a piece of pea gravel under the base of my index finger on my right hand.  Not the most pleasant thing to wake up to, most likely it is a harmless little cyst but to be safe we will get it looked at.

No, I do not let my tomatoes vine ripen, not this year anyway the baby chickens are getting at least 1/4 of all the ripe tomatoes and cucumbers.

 Hello happy basil :)

 The toe part of this is that fun little cut I managed to get in the river which cut through my nail doesn't look so happy today.  I guess I got it a bit wet this morning watering and the silly thing reopened.  Unfortunately I was too busy picking things to notice.  The end result was I had one nasty clean out job- pretty sure packing it with dirt and sawdust is not so good for healing.  

 ~me~

 Not bad little garden :)

But I should learn to be more careful :) 

beneath still water

In the loudness of silence there is a place to rest

A lee to take shelter in

But there is also sadness

 Cold, dark water with no end

As still as black glass

I fear staying here too long will take me

And yet here I am again

Looking out at the world 

wondering 

One day I will simply not go back

This I know and it does not scare me

In the loudness of silence there is peace I hardly know in my life

A temptation to linger

To shut everything out that is beyond 

And slip below the surface

But just past the gate a child is standing in the morning light looking for her mother

She calls blindly like a little bird from a nest 

Turning in a perfect circle 

Calling at each curve

Her voice reaching me in ripples 

Her trust and her need are a soft whisper saying: hope is not dead only sleeping

August 17, 2013 mlb

pocket full of sunshine

 Something feels fishy in the garden.  Everything is smallish, the carrots don’t want seem to grow big, and nothing wants to turn red. It feels neglected and not quite right…

I suppose it's nothing a kid in pj’s and a little potato picking can’t fix. 

And there is plenty more to come :)