It is all yesterday now.
The first photo I was able to recover, Boo and her crazy attempts to go cross-eyed. |
I remember what I said through giant sobs when I realized what had happened, "That was everything I am and now it is gone."
Sometime during the long night of horrible pain, guilt, and loss I accepted it. I accepted the idea of starting over, knowing of course how many of the photos were safely here in this electronic space. There is a peace in accepting gone-ness. But there is an emptiness too.
I feel foolish admitting how hard this hit me.
The timing was rather harsh.
My instinct is to pick up and keep going and of course here I am doing just that but my heart is really broken...
I honestly don't know....that was everything I am.
yes. of course. utter heart break. nothing less could even happen. it may not be all that you are. but if you consider that you are your actions, you are what you create, then it's pretty damn true. it IS everything you are. good thing is - you still have the basic ingredients:
ReplyDeleteLife
Desire
Imagination
Pain
Ability
and a damn good work ethic.