Santa must be a drinker...

So BC is over at the neighbors house and like any good neighbors they are there for us.  They offer a beer, a place to hide a co-owned unregistered vehicle when the inspector comes around, saves your life a couple of times, and gives your kid a giant biting spider.  Cool.  Hold on a minute.  I complained a little when I got a beer (that is one beer) from them and it was said "You feel like getting fucked up, right? Have fun getting all fucked up."  One beer. Smile.  Walk away. Call BC and complain about the cultural barrier between a misunderstood Irish girl and a male Hispanic neighbor.  "You need to explain to him how much I can drink...."

And I didn't really say too much about the whole pushing the car out of our driveway UP into the street then UP into their driveway, it is sort of sweet I suppose minus the hard labor and law breaking.  Totally grateful for the life saving bits.  But while I'm thinking about the whole me accidentally flashing the Mormon missionaries who were coming from their house! WTF?! Why are the missionaries always over there the neighbors are Catholic and a few other things I won't mention? Awkward. But a spider?!?!?! Really?????

Let's review: I am afraid of spiders, nightmares, the kind where I wake throwing and breaking stuff, break out into hives, write off whole sections of the house for days.  In fact one day back when I was married to the X I left a message at his work (a garden store!) that he had to come right home because there was a very deodorized spider under a glass jar in the kitchen that needed to be killed and removed.
My feelings aside I agreed to the spider, turning down a very respectable pair of homeless female rats who happened to be offered to Beach on the very same day.

BUT it gets better...as BC was introducing me to the spider, please forgive me for not remembering his name I tend to blank out a little bit when I am traumatized, BC mentions the best part: He bites.  Oh great!!! So she can't hold it?  Oh-no, I was assured she can through thick leather gloves cause it bit Jr., one of the big boys from next door, through a cotton glove that's why they wanted to get rid of it- it scared them.  It's not poisonous it only feels like a getting stung...I remember the last time I got stung would not sign up to do it again....Right, this is making perfect sense the BIG BOYS next door are afraid of the spider let's give it to Beach she loves scary shit!  Merry Christmas Boo-Bear hold on a minute while mommy goes and gets a shoe....