once but both

There are conversations that will randomly play through my mind from time to time.  Sometimes less randomly a name along with something they said to me, something important before it became so.

foreshadowing I suppose

'if ever I' statements

highlights

this is where the rope of our friendship will break between us

road signs

Or perhaps things said about me...

Like "She is fiercely loyal until you have car trouble then she is out of there like a rat  from sinking ship; you want to break them up?  Fuck with his car." Which in all fairness is probably more true than not.

I am grateful for my many girl friends but somehow it is always one of the guys who offers me the piece of the picture I am just not getting.

I really think it is the emotional way a man speaks when he runs full sprint into something he isn't expecting to find.  It isn't what they are saying to me it how they are saying it.    

often these words of wisdom  appear in the silent space between sleep and being awake

Recent gems like "If you keep asking whether or not he is still your friend isn't the question already your answer?"

they transcend time

this morning it was an argument

words over a decade old

"I don't even know who you are?" I said to him more hurt than angry.
"That's not true." He answered.

"Really?! Have I even met the real you?"

"Yes, once. But both times was very brief."

Those words spoken from a man too smart for his own good, able to disarm and charm at will.  But there is something more there.  A whole universe of understanding of what it is like to be flawed.

What it is like to carry around too much.

What it is like to believe your shortcomings are more than any other's. 

to believe that you, as you are, will never be good enough.

John Irving, Until I Find You, "Not in front of Jack."