cake

 It started with a late night phone call, the kind of call that drives a divorced mom nuts; angry kid fighting with Other Parent. 

In another house. 

Up the dark interstate. 

Across town.

A distance bigger than slippers are meant to travel. 

I talked to angry kid, who hung up on me.  

I fumbled through my dresser for a little scrap of paper with the X’s number scribbled on it.  I talked to Other Parent, equally as angry as the kid but he & I were at least mostly in agreement. 

After hanging up I sat in the big chair in dark holding my phone reluctantly saving the X’s number, knowing I would need it again. 

I went back to bed but couldn’t sleep or settle so I lay awake for a very long time.

I was awoken by BC touching my shoulder gently shaking me, “Misty, wake up you are screaming.”

  

4 am (formerly known as 3 am).

March 11.

Happy Birthday BC. 

Sorry about the screaming in the night.

Sorry I have not managed yet today to find the ground beneath me solid.  Every time I move the earth pitches like a boat in rough seas.  Sitting does nothing to improve it.  The pressure in my head forces my eyes shut every ten minutes or so and turning my head brings on Armageddon.

Beach and I harvested carrots from the greenhouse and baked you a from scratch carrot cake.  

The cream cheese frosting is to die for.  

I know we both feel the tension lately and we have both been a bit choppy with each other but thank you for your tenderness, for your steady hands, and for being there for me when no one else had the balls to be.   

        And thanks for that too ;)