rumors of domestic war

I slept little.  When I did my dreams were too crowded to find rest in.  I have said before there is a fragile often false peace between this household and BC's EX's.   The sudden amicable change of school year custody of BC's son was a shocking turn, the boy had been asking for it supported by us for at least 3 years.  When it happened without a fight I held my breath. It can't be this simple.

The first signs of thin ice cracking came when BC sent the mile high pile of papers requesting permission to modify the divorce. Contained within all that bullshit only 3 items, his name and address a half million times, a request to end child support from BC to the EX while the son lives full time with us, and a request for her to pay 0, yes, ZERO dollars in return.  It prompted an angry phone call followed by a certified letter that she needed more time to think about it.

On Saturday while I was working Pro Shop and Boo working layouts with her team BC's EX picked the boy up from the house for a scheduled visit. Now she lives a state away but her mom lives in a city near here and they had a family event.  Her first visitations after the change would be in Utah and she would return him Sunday in plenty of time for school Monday morning.

Possibly unhinged by seeing changes in the boy, the differences between a life guided mostly by a dad verses mostly by a mom, seeing his new comfort and confidence with his chosen path, despite the challenge of his education being slightly behind the educational background of his new classmates...Honestly I can't say what it was I don't know her mind. The differences in values, morals, and beliefs between households makes the issues dividing the Middle East child's play; their whole marriage was a war zone, their divorce a nuclear winter.

But I know a mother's hearts.  I know what it is like to watch your boy grow to need his father. Divorce is an awful thing.  Underestimating the destructive forces of something designed specifically to divide families is sheer stupidity.  It should never be entered into lightly.  It isn't easy and unlike marriage it never seems to end. But it shouldn't be about what is easy it should be about what is best for them the kids- not us the adults.

Long story short the boy called home very upset telling BC his mother was threatening to take him back with her, out of Utah. With the legal paper work hanging in space I worry she probably has ever right to do so, I don't know he is registered and attending classes in Utah and yet it isn't official with the courts yet.

BC wanting peace and not wanting to jump the gun asked the boy to talk to mom rationally before cutting the visit short and to call back after they had talked.  He never called and all calls to them have gone unanswered.  Just as they did the weekend he was five years old ready to start Kindergarten in Utah and she violated the standing custody order taking him across state lines enrolling him in school there, withholding visitation for two months.  When the case finally made it through Utah courts they noted her violation of custody was a bad thing but ruled he was already 6 or 7 months in school there and it would stay that way being that each parent was basically a good parent and there were no other dividing factors to rule in one or the other's favor.

Welcome back to Limbo. Will you be staying long?