Tuesday, August 13, 2013

down

How do I start? Let's call it all yesterday for ease.... yesterday I pulled a muscle in my hip (well, not just pulled) from running while injured.  Yesterday my whole computer reset to its factory settings taking away with it all my photos and ALL my writing.  Yes, I have some back ups- some media forms better than others but the writing is for the most part gone.

It is all yesterday now.
The first photo I was able to recover, Boo and her crazy attempts to go cross-eyed.

I remember what I said through giant sobs when I realized what had happened, "That was everything I am and now it is gone."

Sometime during the long night of horrible pain, guilt, and loss I accepted it.  I accepted the idea of starting over, knowing of course how many of the photos were safely here in this electronic space.  There is a peace in accepting gone-ness.  But there is an emptiness too.

I feel foolish admitting how hard this hit me.
The timing was rather harsh.
My instinct is to pick up and keep going and of course here I am doing just that but my heart is really broken...

I honestly don't know....that was everything I am.




 


1 comment:

  1. yes. of course. utter heart break. nothing less could even happen. it may not be all that you are. but if you consider that you are your actions, you are what you create, then it's pretty damn true. it IS everything you are. good thing is - you still have the basic ingredients:
    Life
    Desire
    Imagination
    Pain
    Ability
    and a damn good work ethic.

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